"a fashion accessory for idiots"

A friend of mine recently referred to the iPhone 7 as being "a fashion accessory for idiots".

I don't think he is wrong either. Apple is basically the equivalent of the worst sweatshop clothing manufacturer you can think of. They use cheap labour in South Korea and other Asian countries to make the phones, use technology from Samsung, add their own proprietary charging ports and make it deliberately annoying for iPhone users to charge their phone.

The new iPhone 7 takes it one step further. Now the headphones also uses the charging port as the plug. They got rid of the normal audio jack completely.

Which means you have three choices:

Option 1: Wear the ugly and battery powered "AirPods", shown below:

Option 2: Use an adapter just so you can use a normal audio jack, shown below.

Complete with moron talking about how great it is.

Option 3: Use the headphones that come with the iPhone 7. Which are ugly. So ugly I am not even going to show them here.

As fashion accessories go, Apple seems to be shooting themselves in the proverbial iFoot, by deliberately making their stuff unfashionable.

Take this idiot below with an Apple iPhone 7 Plus strapped to his face. He might look cute with his well-trimmed beard, but the average person doesn't look like that when they have something like that strapped to their face. Instead they look like a complete idiot.

Complete Idiot with iPhone 7 strapped to face.
This is the silly thing too. Since the iPod came out, Apple's primary goal has been to promote their products as being "hip and fashionable" to the younger generation. But the people in charge of the company have started to become old and out of touch with what is fashionable. They think the AirPods wireless headphones shown further above are worth $219 CDN, despite the fact that they are ugly and only store a 5 hour charge. That isn't fashionable or convenient. That is ugly and inconvenient.

Which brings me to another thing my friend stated, that technology is all about more convenience. People buy toasters and microwaves because they are convenient and easy to use. Same reason why they buy washing machine, automobiles, etc. They have a purpose that makes their life more convenient.

In the world of fashion we also have things that are convenient...

#1. High Heels - a convenient way of making yourself look taller in a world which is prejudiced against short people. (Don't pretend it isn't true. Height-ism is a real thing.)

#2. Black Dress - a convenient way of making yourself look both thinner and sophisticated with very little work involved.

#3. Handbags - a convenient way to carry your stuff around, which frankly is a sign we have too much stuff. I personally prefer backpacks, but hey, personal preference.


But the iPhone 7 is supposed to do a bunch of different things, in theory, which are supposed to make your life more convenient - but is not.

Getting rid of the standard audio jacks is not convenient. It is annoying.

Forcing people to buy AirPods for $219 is not convenient. It is highway robbery.

Trying to get people to try virtual reality headsets is not about more convenience, it is about not looking like an idiot. It would be easier to promote Victorian wigs as a fashion accessory than to try to convince people to wear their iPhone on their face and look like a complete idiot.

Seriously, we should totally bring Victorian wigs back.

Having to powder your Victorian wig wouldn't be very convenient I admit, but it is at least fashionable. It also makes a person look taller, so if combined with high heels...

Oh and for fun check out these High Heels: The Bullet. Perfect for the femme fatale look.

No comments:

Popular Posts

Search This Blog

Need to Advertise?

The FASHION SALON is accepting sponsors. Why? Because we're totally awesome and we can always use more shoes... and handbags... and shirts... jeans... you know, stuff!

Email suzannemacnevin{atsymbol}gmail.com and ask about our advertising and sponsorship rates.